My Northern Writing Adventure: Pride, Loving and Relationships on Festival Saturday

I acknowledge the Larrakia people of the Garramilla/Darwin region who are the traditional owners of the land I am writing about in this post. I acknowledge all elders of the past, present and future.

On this day I was tired. I hadn’t fallen to sleep until 4am the night before. Missing the late bus and then catching the wrong one the night before was a bit too much excitement to be conducive for sleep. I was meant to be on the bus again before 10am and back at the Museum and Art Gallery of the NT (MGNT) by 10.15 for a panel event with John Safran, but I ended up sleeping in until 8.30. I took my time getting up and ready and was on the bus at 11.30. By the time I reached the city interchange, I figured the turnaround of getting out to MGNT-four and a half kilometres outside the city centre-and then back into the city for the next event would be too tight. So I decided to wait around in the CBD. I had two and a half hours to kill, so I decided to use them to kill some darlings in editing changes to my short story Kindred Counsel.

Civic Park was alive with the rainbow colours of Darwin Pride. I watched the festivities unfold from the courtyard of Browns Mart.

‘Light of My Life’ was a fascinating exploration of modern love. The panel, headed by local author Jennifer Pinkerton, examined how loving had changed in the modern world, and the panellists discussed alternative ways of loving, desiring, and doing relationships. The panellists discussed how dating apps don’t work well in small cities like Darwin, where the ‘old ways’ must be reverted to.

Over the past two years I had re-entered the wild world of dating. Having recovered sufficiently from the breakdown of my long-term relationship, I had finally felt ready to dip my toe in the waters of love again. In ten years, the whole dating landscape had changed. Swiping, matching, endless possibilities, overwhelm. Initial interest, inevitable disappointment. My dream of finding romance was filtered into options like pro-choice, sexual orientation, age, and gender. My whole identity squeezed into a 300-character bio. The apps spat out endless recommendations for potential matches, the same kind of person over and over again. I longed for the real-world connection I had experienced a decade earlier. It seemed like an unrealistic expectation nowadays.

Now, I had come to Darwin, where dating apps didn’t even have much significance. They weren’t as popular as they were back home on the Gold Coast, because they didn’t work here. And the lack of significance gave me hope that there was still the possibility of finding love the ‘old fashioned way’.

After the panel, I caught the bus out to MGNT. Again I had a few hours of free time, where I proofread Kindred Counsel and went for a walk on the beach.

That night, I attended an author talk with John Safran facilitated by Clare Martin discussing his new book ‘Puff Piece’, a probing look into Big Tobacco and the vaping industry, and how words can be literally a matter of life and death.

Afterward, I settled in for a night of storytelling beneath the stars, where writers and storytellers came together for an evening of words and song about losing, and finding, our way in the world. The special event featured Malŋay Yunupiŋu (yidaki), Yvette Holt, Hannah Kent, Delia Falconer, Bryant Apolonio, Maureen Jipyiliya Nampijimpa O’Keefe, Haneen Mahmood Martin, Shele Parker, Kuya James (music) with special guest and with Melanie Mununggurr, Jazz Money, and Robert Hoosan and David Miller from NPY Women’s Council Uti Kulintjaku Watiku (men’s) group.

By the time I got home that night, I felt beyond overtired. I was so tired physically and mentally, but lay awake. I realised just how much I need my wind-down time in the evening.