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I am ashamed of my creative journey.

Or at least I have been. Until now.

For as far back as I can remember I have felt ashamed of who I am. About the things that make me who I am. For the things I want- to travel the world and write- or don’t want- to study, establish a career, settle down. What I want and don’t want has felt like it doesn’t fit the mold of what is acceptable in mainstream society. My life’s purpose lives outside the realms of the traditional paths of study & career. I’m not opposed to a having a day job, but I’ve never identified a long-term vocation that remotely appealed to me to deserve the investment of my time, money and energy. As a result, I am ‘uneducated’ in the traditional sense. I didn’t graduate high school and I have not attended college or university. I have studied writing, in the form of attending many workshops and masterclasses. In this method, I am also a highly skilled circus performer, specializing in advanced level hula hooping.

My doubt isn’t associated with my ability to write or the importance of my stories. My doubt stems from my perceived inability to survive in the mainstream world without a mainstream vocation.

Until now I’ve seen my creative passions and interests as not viable in the ‘real’ world. I questioned how I was supposed to live in the ‘real’ world. I have never believed and trusted that I could survive doing what I do. Not because I doubted that my passions could be monetized. It wasn’t a matter of whether I could do it. It was a matter of whether I should. Whether it was a responsible choice for my life, and as that of a contributing member of society. I have never believed and trusted that I could get by in the world being what I am and doing what I do.

I have spent years trying to put myself in a box into which I do not fit. Ultimately in order to be approved of and accepted by others, whether it be parents, family members, romantic partners or friends.

Today I felt as if I was finally able to start letting go of the shame around my preoccupation with my life’s purpose of being a storyteller.Β  To start letting go of the fear and guilt around my lack of interest in a ‘traditional’ life path of study and career.

I no longer believe that the pursuit of my passions is irresponsible.

I no longer believe that I am being naive to believe that I will be supported in this pursuit of my life purpose, whether directly or indirectly.

As a creative, as a storyteller, I am worthy of love and connection.

This self-realization- this permission– has brought me to a whole new phase of my creative journey.

Watch this space.

Blog

Green-Light Your Book

Opportunities for Authors in the New Era of Book Publishing.

Enjoy!

https://www.ingramspark.com/spark-complete-education/green-light-your-book

Blog

Embarking on the IngramSpark Journey…

Hi all,

Apologies that this blog has been quiet over the past month or so.

As many of you are aware, about two years ago I was unfortunate enough to be barred for life from using Kindle Direct Publishing to publish and distribute my books. This was a heartbreaking time for me, as I was, and still am, completely clueless as to why they were flagged and why I have been banned.

However! I soldier on!

Learning IngramSpark is something I have been wanting to do for years, but amidst many significant life changes and shifts, I didn’t feel I had the time and energy. However, finally I do feel like the time is right.

I’ve recently started the process of preparing to re-publish all of my books on IngramSpark, and I ave wanted to start this process by working my way through IngramSpark’s educational videos. I will be sharing them here if you would like to join me.

There are a handful of very short videos about 1-3 minutes long, and a bunch of long ones, about 1 hour long. I will start with the short ones. Keep an eye out for these posts, and I hope they’re helpful. The IngramSpark educational videos can be found here:

https://www.ingramspark.com/spark-complete-education

 

Happy writing!

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