Sam told me she was a dancer about a month after we started dating, but I had my suspicions well before that. It was mostly typical things that go along with being a dancer, from the odd times that she worked, to certain aspects of her appearance.
I felt all right with it, and Sam was doing the job for a long time before we met, so there was nothing really for me to say. The only thing that really changed in my perception of her as a person was that now I knew what she really did for a living. Before I thought she must have had some kind of conventional job. The only difference was my knowledge.
I didn’t really have a fixed perception of strip clubs before I found out Sam worked in one. I didn’t think they were great, and I didn’t think they were outright bad either. I had only been to them once or twice in the past for buck’s parties, and all I really thought of them was that they were an expensive place to go and have a drink.
On the buck’s parties I often went for the pub crawl part of the evening and left early before they went to the strip clubs. I thought the clubs were overpriced and offered nothing of interest to me. Now I think they are really overpriced knowing how much money Sam could make in a night!
Nothing has changed, and I still think they’re a waste of money. It’s nothing against the girls that work there, but I just don’t see the attraction to it, and wouldn’t be bothered myself.
The most significant impact that Sam’s being a dancer had on our relationship was the limited time we had to spend together. We were not living together during that time, and while I worked days, Sam worked nights. I worked during the week, while she worked on weekends. That was really the only thing that was hard about the situation, and I believe we maintained a healthy relationship.
We made the best of the time we did get to spend together, and we each did our own things, which is important regardless of what kind of job you do. It was not so much the negative emotions I felt but the pressures that Sam experienced that were obvious even when she wasn’t working.
My view is neither here nor there in regards to the customers that go to clubs. It’s each to their own; if that’s what they’re into and want to spend their money on, that’s fine.
If you’re married or in a relationship, I can understand why some people would feel the temptation to go into a club and have a look, but I really can’t fathom why you would want to.
If you’re single, I think you should just go to a regular bar to try and pick up a girl. It’s cheaper, and you can get drunk too. In the end the dancers at the club are putting on a show, because that’s what they’re paid to do.
If you are contemplating having a relationship with a girl who works as a dancer, my advice is to really evaluate whether you can handle it. Don’t start something or stay in something if you can’t handle it. There is no point. You have every right to make that decision for yourself, but you shouldn’t be trying to change her. That just challenges the whole dynamics of the relationship, and it’s not right. If you are happy with them doing the job, just be there for them as you would be for anyone else.
From a partner to a dancer, I believe the best choice of action is to be honest and upfront about the situation within the first month. When it starts to get that little bit serious, and you both know you’re moving toward a relationship, let the person know what you do. The sooner the better and you can get a true indication of whether the other person is interested and if they want to stay with you. Just like you would expect them to be honest with you about what they themselves do for work.
It shouldn’t really matter too much, and it’s not about the taboo stigma of stripping, but more about being honest. Tell the truth about what you do, so they can make up their mind from there about whether they are comfortable staying with you. But don’t bow down to someone you’ve just met who is telling you to get out of the job or else. It is completely up to you.
Paid To Dance: Asha’s Story Part Two is AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER in paperback and Kindle eBook for release WORLDWIDE on July 20th, 2018.