I was twenty-one years old celebrating a friend’s eighteenth birthday in Brisbane when I visited my first gentlemen’s club. I kept coming back because it was just like hanging out at a pub with mates, but with a much nicer view. My regular venue introduced poker nights, but I was going in for weekly drinks after work well before that started.
To quote the TV show ‘Cheers’, a good gentleman’s club experience is where everybody knows your name. Where the dancers are not too pushy, and in turn are not pressured by management to hustle.
Part of the relationship that appeals to a customer, especially a regular one, is the individuality of a particular dancer. Sometimes they just need to spend that little bit of extra time sitting and talking, and when a hostess or manager pounces on the dancer and tries to speed up the booking process, it could potentially undermine the dancer’s efforts.
Managers should coach the girls, but not shoo them on from a customer because he hasn’t bought a dance within three minutes. Not every guy will book in that short amount of time.
For me to book a private dance, there obviously has to be some kind of physical attraction between the dancer and me. It’s nice when a girl has put some thought into her presentation, but being a Barbie Doll isn’t what it’s all about for me either. I need to have a connection with her. I’ve booked big girls, skinny girls, redheads, blondes and brunettes. I don’t have a particular ‘type’, but the one thing they have all done is taken their time and shared with me a bit of their personality.
I like talking to the dancers, but if one were to approach me and say, “Hi my name is such and such, do you want to go for a dance?” that would help me make up my mind pretty much straight away not to book her. That might work in some places and with some people, but I like it when the girl has some rapport. I want to be able to relax and spend my money at my leisure.
Just as it would be for a dancer coming from a customer, body odour and bad breath have got to be the worst turn-offs when interacting with a dancer. Excessive bad language is another one. We all swear but every second word is certainly not attractive.
Also, if a dancer speaks badly about other girls in order to make herself look more appealing, it only reflects badly on her. I might be fond of the girl she is talking about, and she would lose my business as a result of bad mouthing.
It’s perfectly okay to be having a bad day, but I don’t want to feel obliged to spend money on a dancer out of guilt. It’s not very appealing to book her when she is moping around, and it’s especially de-motivating when the dancer complains about how poorly she has been earning.
Some dancers don’t talk to couples that come into the club, but I strongly encourage it, even so much going the extra mile to focus on the female first. Try to make her night as much fun as her partner’s. If you get a positive result, then work on the guy.
Couples go into clubs to explore something new and exciting together, and dancers can earn double the money if they secure a booking with two people. Coming from a personal standpoint, my visiting clubs has had only a positive effect on my relationship with my wife, who has become quite the regular customer herself!
From watching the dancers in their element, I have had the opportunity to observe and learn a lot about how the girls work. They work the room from the stage, and pick up on who’s watching them. They make eye contact and go to those people when they come off stage.
Girls, if you sit in the corner and expect a customer to come to you, you might be waiting awhile. Even if you’ve done the rounds and no-one’s biting, go sit with someone who’s previously acknowledged you, or who you think might be interesting and have a chat.
Obviously start with the ones that tipped you, but at least introduce yourself to the others and mention that you’ll come back and have a chat later. People love talking about themselves and if they enjoy your company, you’ll probably at least get your next drink bought for you, a tip or maybe even that dance they said no to earlier. Most customers will be willing to reward your time in one way or another.
If you are a customer at a club, the girls don’t have to be at your beck and call and they certainly don’t have to accept your dance. If you’re going to behave like a douche then expect to be left alone. Realise the girls need to make money and they do not get paid to simply be there at the club. If you have no intention of tipping or booking them, let them go on their way when they want to, and don’t make them feel bad about it. No tips or dances means no money for them, and many clubs charge the girls a door fee just so they can work. So if you’re not planning to book a dance just yet, be upfront about it. The girls will appreciate your honesty and may even decide to keep you company for a little longer anyway.
A lot of clubs take a cut of the girl’s tips if you give them the money on the floor. So if you want to tip her, check to see when she’s going on stage next. In saying that, if you’re sitting in a designated tipping area around the stage, expect to be asked to tip them. Premium viewing should pay a premium price and you could be costing the dancer money by taking up a seat from someone who wants to tip.
The dancers that work in the clubs provide entertainment and in turn create a bit of a fantasy world. The girls are definitely brave, and on more than one occasion I’ve suggested to a heckler that if they think they can do a better job, then they should get up on the stage themselves!
Paid To Dance: Asha’s Story Part Two is AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER in paperback and Kindle eBook for release WORLDWIDE on July 20th, 2018.